Book of the Month : May 2015

May was an absolute revelation.. Like I said it here, it was the month for women power. It happened entirely by accident that ( except for the last two books) that almost all I read was by women ( except one). I have to say, I din't expect to be a different experience.  I have never really thought about authors really having a gender. I mean, it's a incidental thing, and never thought it was something which could influence their writing. I was pleasantly surprised to find I was wrong.

Anyways, I have already ranted why, so I'll get on with it!

Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She's "Learned" by Lena Dunham - 1.5 / 5

I don't know what kind of girl she is, but she is definitely not the kind of girl who should be allowed to write a book. In a book,  least one character should be likable, preferably the narrator. But there is only consistent character, that is Dunham and she's comes across as the embodiment of the privileged white girl with first world problems. I had watched a couple of episodes of  her hit show Girls and I had found them quite funny imagining of course that she's being ironic about the bunch of whiny loser girls. But turns out she's not. And the more you read the book, the more irritated you feel at her whining, why life is not going as planned though she doesn't take any effort. For the longest time I wondered if this is some sort of age gap at work,if  this is how the new kids think, the entitlement. But she's barely 2 yrs younger to me so that theory went out to the window. Her stories are disjointed and there's a marked lack of continuity between chapters. And honestly by the end of the book, you are quite clueless what the hell she has "learned".

Hickory Dickory Dock by Agatha Christie - 3 / 5

It felt a bit tame for Poirot, but I found it interesting because it shows the human side of his secretary Miss Lemon. The ending also was a little contrived and far fetched. Not Agatha Christie's best work.


Dunham's book made me a little suspicious of picking the next one afraid it is going to blow up in my face. But I knew I would eventually read it anyways ( coz I loveee her), so might as well get it over with. So that's how I ended up with...

Bossypants by Tina Fey - 3.2 / 5

And it was everything that you want and expect from Tina Fey. She's warm, funny, engaging and most importantly, grounded. I was a wee bit disappointed that most of the book is about her professional life and you don't see much of her personal life ( I believe she's saving that for her autobiography when she's 80). But I do love her energy and enthusiasm especially when she faces discrimination. Her attitude is more like "Life is not fair. Ok, so we'll work harder and then say 'HA HA' to life!' and what's not to love about it. There are a couple of chapters which are rather random but overall a fun read.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling - 3.4 / 5

I love Fey and I always will, but Mindy totally stole my heart with this book. I don't always find her show funny but her book was hilarious. She too is warm, funny, grounded. I love how she has made it plain that any success that she enjoys is through sheer grit and doggedness. She's not dismissing that luck and perhaps even talent might have played a part but mostly it's sticking with it till it works. The book is like a light, refreshing chat with a friend, so go pick it up for a pick-me-up! :)

Tamarind City by Bishwanath Ghosh - 3.4 / 5

I have a theory that anyone who loves Chennai ( or Madras, as purists insist) is someone who can look beyond the superficial and see you for who you are. I'm yet to meet a person who loves Chennai and I've not liked. On the surface, yes, it's hellishly hot and humid. But if you keep that aside, spend some time, you'll also find out that the place is gorgeous amalgamation of good people, charming culture and cosy beaches. So when Mr.Ghosh, an outsider who has been charmed ( like myself) takes it upon himself to explore my favorite city I knew I would love it. He's done a lovely job of presenting the historical Madras and the present day Chennai. Towards the end the book it becomes more about him and less about the city and I found the narrative a tad weak there. I don't blame him because the city becomes so intertwined with your soul that you stop identifying it as something separate. But that doesn't always make it more interesting for the reader. Overall, if you thought you knew Chennai, well, think again and pick up the book because it's going to totally surprise you. And if you are not a fan of the city, then too pick up the book because you'll find out why you should be!

PS: He was the only male author in the month of May. But as far as I'm concerned his subject was female, so it all works out!

Foreign Affairs by Alison Lurie -  3.6 / 5

It was a bit underwhelming for a Pulitzer prize winner. The prize sets up a huge expectation. I feel this is one of those books which, had I approached without the Pulitzer tag I would have enjoyed it more. Her language is lovely and her characters, though quite mundane, are memorable. I think that's what makes this book a great read. She takes almost clichéd characters and given them a new life within the framework of the cliché. We get a glimpse of the inner workings of the dowdy spinster and the beautiful and spoiled actress. How life is exactly as we imagine when we judge someone  and fit them into a box; and yet it is never as we expect it either. Quite an interesting exercise in 'not judging a book by the cover'.

Flora and Ulysses by Kate DiCamillo - 3.7/ 5

Thank you Mr. President!

I have Barack Obama to thank for having led me to this book and the lovely DiCamillo. It was in his book buying list (here's the list) and there were enough books that I had enjoyed before, so thought I'll pick up some and try. I found the blurb for Flora and Ulysses quite ticklish so I got my hand on it immediately ( also got 'A Constellation of Vital Phenomena' by Anthony Marra but have not read it yet).

The book is about the self-described 10 yr old cynic Flora (she reminds me of a 10 yr old Calvin, Bill Watterson's that is) and the superhero squirrel Ulysses with powers of strength, flight, and misspelled poetry. It's so wonderfully relate-able, especially Flora's relationship with her parents. It has abundance of humor laced with an underlying sadness and K. G. Campbell's illustrations capture it perfectly. It's a funny blend of book and comic and the technique as been used to the maximum effect. You really don't know where to draw the line ( Is it a comic? It is a book?). But that doesn't matter because it works to pull you into the story.

I love that DiCamillo treats her young readers as perceptive individuals who are quite capable of understanding that people can be both good and bad. Quite a refreshing approach to a children's book to have characters who are grey rather than black and white in their personalities. She also uses language which might be a little above a child's but again I love that she's challenging her young readers to grow and learn. It's a wonderful ride getting to know Flora and her weird family (and of course Ulysses), one I'm sure you will enjoy even if you are no longer 10 yrs old!

Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear - 3.7 / 5

There are not many female detectives who have captured the imagination. After reading Maisie Dobbs I, for the life of me, can't figure out why. She's not flamboyant like Sherlock or Poirot, but I loved her practical, no nonsense approach to problems. I also loved the story premise, set after the World War. So often we hear the exploits of the soldiers in the war but rarely do we bother with what happens after. We think that it was the war itself which was the hardship and that once it is over, they will move on like the rest of us. Winspear has explored the sensitive issue brilliantly without taking away any of the excitement that goes into a mystery. And nor has she kept the personal life of the protagonist, Dobbs, non-existent like in the case of Holmes. Instead she uses it to enrich the experience of getting to know Dobbs. I can't wait to pick up more of the series.

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott -  4 / 5

If ever you are faced with a writer's block, this is the book to pick up. Or because you have never tried writing because you are afraid to find out what that would be like, pick up Bird by Bird. Or you just love books, then too you should pick it up. What Lamott does give you behind-the-scenes of writing a book. Not the edited, stylised version but the sweat, blood, tears and bare bones that makes writing what it is. It's not always pretty but it's wonderfully fulfilling. And she does it with gentle humor and grace. Even if you don't have any dreams of being a best selling author ( you don't have to lie to me :-P) it's still a lovely read because you really start to appreciate the effort it takes to be called an author.

And finally it's time for the book of the month..

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo - 4.5 / 5

I could not believe this was a children's book because it was so wise and beautiful and sad. It broke my heart. It really did. And yet I could not help but loving it fiercely! I know DiCamillo credits her young readers with far more grace and understanding than most adults do, but here I was a little skeptical if this is something I would want to give to a child to read because it was so heartbreaking.

The story line is simple enough, though the language is a little more advanced at times for a children's book. But that is all secondary. Edward Tulane, the porcelain rabbit who gets adopted and loved by different people at different points of his life carves out a space for himself in your heart whether you want it or not. Not just Edward, each character shines with realness; they are imperfect yet all the more beautiful because of it. As Edward's pride diminishes, as his heart grows warmer and filled with love, your heart too swells till it feels like its going to burst. Well, in my case, I guess it did because I found myself bawling away as I was closing the book. It made me intensely grateful for the people I love and who love me. It reminded me to not take the wonderful blessings I have for granted. Most importantly, it showed me what love, real heartbreaking kind of love can do. For that alone, you should pick up the book. Again, it'll hurt, but think of it as growing pains for your heart!

Well, that's the 10 books which made up May. See you soon!
Take care and Keep reading, folks!
Phil!

Women on Women - Literary style!

Inadvertently May because the month for Woman Power. No, not girl power. It was all about Women. Girls are sweet. Women are powerful. Women have a strength which belie their sweetness. Not all girls become women and some girls take a long time to reach womanhood. All the books I read last month had a woman at the heart of it's book. And with the exception of two (out of the eleven), all the rest were written by women too. And it was a revelation.

When men write about women (or girls) they tend to give them an aura. It can be of the saint or of the whore, or maybe even somewhere in between ( the whore with the heart of gold?!). Rarely are they goofy, the women of the male imagination ( MPDG don't count!). And even rarer are the cases where the goofiness is a part of the strength. It's not that all the women I read about were goofy. But I'm just pointing out an instance of how male and female writers tend to portray female characters. The more female writers I read, I felt there was some subliminal difference. But one I could not place a finger on immediately. Had I read female and male authors indiscriminately as I'm wont to do, I'm sure I would not have even noticed the difference. I would have merely notched it to the particular style or voice of the author.

But skipping from one women to another, author wise, I caught a subtle shift of perception. The women are plainer. Even the attractive ones. They are not built to make your heart ache with want. Not on sight that is. And even more importantly love is not a function that's dependent on their external beauty. Or even on their likability. These women, created by other women, are irritable, have abundant sense of humor even if it is a bit sardonic, unwillingly kind or even willingly unkind. Yet, they still find love and fulfillment. And the love that they find is not dependent on them being likable all the time. Nor is love and fulfillment directly proportional. This is certainly not a revelation in the real world.

Then why does it feel so exceptional in the literary one?

They, the female characters, are also sweet, considerate, jealous, motherly, sexy or what ever feminine virtue (or vice) you want to confer on them. The difference, I guess, is that these women are not an embodiment of a single emotion or virtue ( or vice). They get tired and have exceptionally bad hair days and be exceptionally cranky because of the said day or be exceptionally happy and not give a flying f**k for the said day. But the range of emotion that they display, these women written by other women. doesn't make them seem hysterical. Instead it is a mere expression of their feelings at that point of time in the story.

I don't know if I'm making sense. It's not like all the women written by men are hysterical or ideal. I'm not saying that men can't or haven't written about women realistically. But looking back, I feel a majority of the women written by men have, for the lack of a better word, an aura. A particular virtue or vice is subtly enhanced or embodied by the female characters. Male characters can get angry but they are not defined by it (unless we are talking about the Hulk). They also be sad, happy, jealous, manipulative. yet they don't always carry an aura. It is not the norm. The hero or more often the master or guide will have an aura but not every male in the story has one.

And to be clear, I'm definitely not saying female authors are better than their male counterparts. The abundance of shitty writers are more or less equal in their distribution among genders. What I am saying is that it is refreshing to see female characters who are not boxed and colored with a brush of a singular virtue.

Review: Anita Nair's Mistress

Anita Nair's 'Good Night and God Bless' is one of my favorites when it comes to nighttime reads, just before sleep, or one of those books you just dip into when you just have a few minutes to wait. Rather like the chocolate mint on your pillow in the nicer hotels, a nice refreshing taste before a good night's rest. But her 'The Better man' left me very disappointed. The main character put me to sleep and the rest of the cast was not very well etched. The main feeling I remember when I finished the book was relief! So I was a little sceptical about picking up something on the novel side again, but the fact that she did write 'Good Night and..' seemed good enough reason to give her another chance.

To begin with, Mistress has come a long way from The Better Man. She's paced herself well in Mistress, Anita Nair. I loved her take of the 3 different perspectives for the situations.. kinda like a emotional kaleidoscope.Same mirrors and the same bangle bits, but one turn and you have another unique pattern entirely different from the one before. And she's added just enough kathakali techniques to remind you very vaguely of Marquez's 100 years. I think she's added that right amount of magic surrealism which is what actually raises the book above the otherwise cliched storyline ( boy-girl-bad marriage-she cheats) without seeming over ambitious. 

Also loved the exploration of the 9 emotions of dance. I think those short introductions for the navarasas were her chance to indulge in her lyrical best. And for someone from Kerala,it surprises and delights you the familiar landscape being imbibed with a new emotions. Like the quiet fury of the woodpecker or the derision of the December winds.

The only thing I would complain about, though it's not a critic, is the fact that I could not place what the author wanted from the characters. Are we supposed to empathise with Radha, who in my perspective turns from estranged and misunderstood wife to an intellectual snob and pardon my french, selfish bitch; or are we supposed to resent Shyam,the cuckold husband, with his typical overbearing malayali chauvinistic trappings which turn out to be a sheild to protect the surprisingly more sensitive and fragile emotional ecosystem he had grown up and lives in? Or as in some cases,has the author given us the freedom to choose the perspective which suits us the best?! Nor are we clear about the 'Sahiv' Chris's motivations and intentions for starting the affair. And after all the build up, the relationship between the Uncle ( who btw provides the 3rd perspective of the book) and his father remain unexplored. But then again I'm not sure if that's another kathakali technique which I might have not understood.

But in Nair's defence, the lack of clarity is not because of her language or writing( which is crisp yet 

Anita Nair : A lovely voice from God's own Country!

retains a certain flow and grace) but is because the characters themselves are for the most parts confused souls and is never really sure of their feelings and to end their confusion picks up the most dominant emotions and decide, 'this is it, this is what I feel', which I feel is how predominantly how the world works unconsciously, whether it admits it or not! That confusion and corresponding joy or panic of the decision is what made the otherwise bland characters seem so alive to me.

All in all, it was a book I enjoyed a lot. To take something that is so familiar (and we all know what feeling that usually breeds)and imbibe new emotions and colors and life is a unique talent. She also reminds you that there might be no such things as true feelings only differing perspectives. I think it's well worth a read to enjoy that realisation.

Review :Em and The Big Hoom by Jerry Pinto

Some books, characters speak to you immediately. For me it happened the moment [semi-spoiler alert] Em explained the idea of calling someone 'Angel Ears' because their ears look liked crispy bacon ie page 2. Equating food, love, feel, texture.. the idea left me a little breathless when I read it because it was so close to how I feel things sometimes.
The fact is when I think of Em, I find it hard to think of her as a character instead of a person, even after I closed the book. That speaks volumes of the talent that is Jerry Pinto.

It's sensitive take on a raw personality and a controversial subject; but the controversial subject for me [spoiler alert]was not the madness, but the mother-child relationship. Reading this book was like seeing it under a microscope; a magnification of the faults and longings that form this unique bond. Which means while it looks out of proportion with reality in some aspects, the larger than life perspective also makes it clearer and easier to understand.. and to some extend,to accept. The voice of the narrator is brutally honest and yet, it's the brutal part which highlights the ironical humor that life has.

Wonderfully etched characters, like those made with sharp ,bold and minimal strokes without making them caricatures in spite of the larger than life feel of the central character, Em. With a character like Em it's easy to overpower the other characters into nothingness or into a side role but Pinto's made sure that each person has his or her place. The only person who might have been side lined was Susan, Em's daughter. I was left craving for a little more information on her, on her relationship with the narrator, a bit more on the sibling bond. But then again it might just be me coz like the narrator I thrive on details.

Jerry Pinto

For all the drama and seriousness it speaks of, it's a surprisingly fast read. Maybe because Pinto doesn't try to overpower you with sentimentality( which would have made it tedious and cliched) or over explain or justify character faults. He knows they are flawed, but he loves them anyways and you realise you do too.

A surprisingly fresh voice in the new genre of Indian Authors in English and I can't wait to read more of his work :)

The cynical sister says... :)

I'm a very cynical person.

I saw 'The Help'.

Ohwait... I forgot the connect. No, this is not about how I dint like the movie. In stead it is about why I liked the movie, in spite of it being a slightly Disney-fied version ( btw, is this a very Indian thing to do, or does everyone do this... making a new word by '-fying' it ?!) of the black emancipation. To explain why, I need to give a little bit background about myself.

Like I said already, I'm a very cynical person. Not the kind of schizo person who thinks everyone is bad and out to get you. Nope, I'm a more difficult to argue with sort of cynic- the kind that believes that people really want to be good, but ultimately they'll do only what is convenient for them. Period. There are obviously exceptions but at large it's a pretty good rule to hold 99.999% of the population. This might not make me a very nice person, but it sure allows me to be more tolerant and have lower expectations of people in general and that makes me a nicer person than I might have been.

Is anything Impossibile for these brats?!
Courtesy: goldenagemag.com

But there are two situations where this cynicism doesn't apply. 

One, with children. These fresh souls run largely on instinct and the sheer amount of energy, imagination and curiosity they have leaves little which appears to be inconvenient. Rather the thought process doesn't process convenience or inconvenience, just the way they don't always process good and bad. Which means these little angels and monsters almost always do things directly from the heart till they are told otherwise. And it's downright criminal to be cynical in the face of such brutal, life affirming openness and honesty. Every time I talk to a child, I'm renewed with hope that humanity is not entirely a lost cause.

The other, is when I see a sisterhood. It's a rare thing. And it's hard to explain the magic around one. It's not like an all accepting bond like a brotherhood. Nope, we fight, we bitch about each other, we even refuse to stand by each other occasionally. But we never cut each other away. Not even when someone wants to. In spite of all the dissension, there's a collective wisdom that holds the women together.

Viola Davis, Jessica Chastain, Octavia Spencer, Emma Stone and Bryce Dallas Howard : The Help cast

Part of the magic might be in the fact that a lot of times, the bond is formed without having a lot of common characteristics. There's no ulterior motive. This is pretty much the only other space, especially in adulthood, that I've seen where people think less of how it might be convenient or not and more about what the other person needs! And there's pretty much only one rule or code - Loyalty. But it's not your conventional definition ( we are women, ergo there can be nothing conventional about the way things are done.. esp the way men have defined it! :-P) but I wont even try to define it. One, because it's complicated even as a woman to understand it. Two, hehe.. Why give away the secret to men?! :D

Another curious thing is the fact almost always, the sisterhood is made of people who are not even remotely related. And I felt 'The Help' was a beautiful example of that kind of sisterhood.

[Spoiler Alert!!] One of my most favorite scenes in the movie is when Hilly Holbrooke tells Skeeter that she should not cut herself short just because her mama(Skeeter's) thinks she's not good enough to meet nice guys. For the most parts, Hilly's a self serving, arrogant woman who insists that she can never be wrong.  But you always bring out the best when you are rooting for a fellow sister! :)

Another favorite scene is the when Celia Foote cooks an entire dinner all by herself for Minny which gives Minny the strength to finally confront her abusive husband. There's pretty much nothing which can stop you when you have your sisters backing you.

Another scene which hit a chord is when Constantine talks to Skeeter under the tree; along similar lines,when Aibileen tells Elizabeth's kid in the morning to repeat after her,"I is kind, I is smart..." They are the Yin to your Yang, your sisters and that's what keeps you in balance.

Touchwood, because I've always been blessed with that rare kind of sisterhood all my life so far. I've always had women, some whom I am still in touch with, some I'm not ( and the blame's almost always mine!), who argued with me, comforted me, scolded me, complimented me and no matter what reminded me how lucky I am to be me! And that's why I like 'The Help'. Because it made a very cynical person sit up and reminded her that there are somethings in life which are unabashedly beautiful and one ought to be grateful for it! :)

MUUUAHH!! to all my sisters, past, present and future! :D

Rewind - Chapter 2

Wrote this two years back. World was so different those days it feels like it happened eons ago and I have aged terribly since then. Least that's how I've been feeling these days. Of course, it's more likely to be one of those quarter age crisis that seems to be all the trend these day with everyone :-) But what surprised me, very pleasantly I may add, was that I had already written this. I mean, that some ideas and thought have remained the same in me. Gives me a wee bit of hope that possibily, just that tiniest bit of possibility still exists, that I'm not entirely cynical :-)

----------------------------

Courtesy:  http://3.bp.blogspot.com 

Finished 'ballet shoes'. It's actually a children's classic. Uncle G had got a book where they give the beggining of a whole sets of books and they stop right when the suspense peaks. But a lot of those books are, I think, british and it's hard to find those books. so I had read the initial chapters a long time back.. 


Even after I saw this book I dint read it for the longest time coz I figured I would have outgrown  the book and I dint want the magic to fade. It had happened before, where i re-read a book I had read when I was young except now I cant relate to it and all the magic I remember being associated with that book disappeared which was one of the saddest thing to have happened. That's a little bit of your childhood being killed then when that aura of magic melts away. So I dint read it till yesterday... and it's still a wonderful book. It dint disappoint one bit. It had the happy ending we expected but also a very different twist to it. I dont know how I would have felt about it if I was younger coz it would have been too bitter sweet... but now i realise that's how life is and i'm glad for that twist.

The story is about three lil orphans who gets adopted, or rather 'collected', by a eccentric old traveller.  The grls, pauline, petrova and posy, call themselves fossils since that's what the rest of the stuff collected by the old man is called and are given to the care of his grand neice and her maid. It's a lovely story how the grls find themselves, with pauline(eldest) an actress and posy(youngest) who pretty much breathes thru dance and petrova(middle and a russian by birth, the one I most identified with) with a knack for neither but loves cars and airplanes. I know you must be wondering why I would identify with petrova. With all three in a dance and drama academy, it's easy to imagine who would be a fish out of water. And right now it's just all too easy to identify with fishes out of water.

Anyways, it was lovely. With all the dance and drama and the grls in general. It's written in the most childlike way possible without sounding precocious. All of which is, honestly, rather surprising coming from a guy( Noel Streatfeild)

I swear, something it's seems almost surreal when a guy has such insight about being a grl. I still cant believe that John Mayer wrote that song all by himself, called 'Daughters'. He won the grammy for best lyrics and I could not have agreed more with a grammy award before.  It's just amazing how he could know without being a grl or even having a daughter. If he wasnt such a talented lyricist and songwriter I would have probably not liked him by now. Miss the John Mayer when he was new to the business... he was still cocky but it was not coz he thought himself as a great musician but more i felt coz an innate nature. Now that cockyness seems to come off more as arrogance than anything else, which is so sad coz i still love almost all his songs and wish i could look up to him! 


Listening to daughters now. I dont know for sure, but i do feel it;s true for almost all [women] out there. least both me and elu agreed with him cent percent. The first time i heard him sing I was in shock. more like, 'how could he know?'.  Well, still feel the same way. Doesnt seem to have the same effect on guys... dont know why?!


--------------------------------------------------------


In the mean time, you ever had a song a book which never loses it's magic no matter how many times you've gone back?

The secret hand book of Moms

Have you ever had a discussion with your friends where you are talking about the impossibilities your mom used to threaten you with as a child and have the entire gang go,’ I KNOW!!!!’? Or gone to a friend’s place and found that her mom nags her exactly the way your grandmom does, though her mom is saying it in hindi while your gran used to harangue you in Malayalam? I always used to wonder how is that moms’ across the country have the same idea. I kinda dismissed it as a common cultural thing ( though to be very honest there is little else similarity between my gran and Parvinder Aunty).

But as the world started to get smaller and my views broader (thanks to cable tv and books.. later internet), I could not help noticing that putting aside language, moms’ across the world nag/threaten/cajole/pet saying pretty much the same thing. Growing up( in my household), the ultimate prophesy of doom was that you’d end up a sweeper if you don’t study. And as a child I never really understood why it was so bad because it seemed a blithe enough an existence to do nothing but sweep. I thought you’d be getting off easy rather than studying another 4-5 years to be an engineer or doctor.

Years later, after 4 years of engineering, part of a new batch of trainees for an I.T company I found myself surrounded by people from all 4 geographies of India. That was one of the best times of my life, to be part of that training, especially the batch I was put in. For a whole lot of girls that was the first time they were away from home, but no one was home sick. Boys and girls would sit late into the night playing off key anthaskari, ‘truth or dare’ at 4 in the morning on unsuspecting and extremely sleepy people leading to hilarious consequences. And of course, marathon conversations which covered everything under the sun, including moms. And it was there that I found replace ‘sweeper’ with ‘chaprasi’ or ‘cooking lady’ in another language and you have more or less got someone else, or rather everyone’s mom! :-/

And reading Amy Tan’s books, you really wonder if she actually talking about Chinese moms or Indian moms coz you really can’t see the difference.

It can’t be sheer coincidence, right? Moms across the world? Only one thing sounded plausible to me. Like the bible, there’s yet another book which has practically been translated into every language known : the secret handbook of moms. I believe as soon as  someone is known to be a mom, some guardian of the code comes and gives her a book under oath that it not to be shared with anyone who is not a mother. It’s a mass conspiracy I tell you. Mothers around the world, united in their cause to shape up someone worth leaving behind. Not that it’s not a worthy cause, but does the ends justify the means? Was so convinced, that I did a mini raid in my house for the book because if any mom is likely to forget where it is and misplace it( or think that she did), it’s my mom!! But the fact that I could not find din’t detract me, in fact it only convinced me the deviousness and ruthlessness with which the organisation works. It fact I think that there is only one copy of the book in every language and that the new mom has to memorise the whole thing before passing it on. You can ask me how is that possible in the day and age of population explosion, but I ask you, is it really that difficult in the day and age of internet??

But to be honest I don’t think it’s a online copy. I think it’s hard copy, a physical thing infused with the power of moms over the ages. It’s probably more like an infectious magical entity. I’m not entirely sure how to imagine an object encapsulating all the wisdom of all the moms. It has to be awe inspiring to the point of being just a wee little frightening while still remaining a thing of great beauty. Kinda like Aslan the lion from Narnia.Something which would disintegrate if touched by anyone who doesn't hold the awesome kind of love and heart that only a mother would have. ( Try breaking that code, Hackers!!)

But then again, with kids like me, I think they would need all the help in the world :-) And only the collective wisdom would rein in and reign over my kind!End of the day, we love our moms ( in fact, if I go home and they don't nag I feel out of place!)

and hope we are half as good as the ones we've had and there's actually a hand book to help us out!

What do you think?!

Character!

you seen the movie ' high fidelity'?? there is one dialog which everytime i watch that movie i see part of the dialog least 10 time ,rewinding it again and again coz i just cant get over it.

Rob: Top five things I miss about Laura. One; sense of humor. Very dry, but it can also be warm and forgiving. And she's got one of the best all time laughs in the history of all time laughs, she laughs with her entire body. Two; she's got character. Or at least she had character before the Ian nightmare. She's loyal and honest, and she doesn't even take it out on people when she's having a bad day. That's character.
[holds up three fingers]
Rob: Three;
[long pause, hesitantly]
Rob: I miss her smell, and the way she tastes. It's a mystery of human chemistry and I don't understand it, some people, as far as their senses are concerned, just feel like home.
[shakes his head, recollecting, then looks back and lip synchs 'four' while holds up four fingers] 


Rob: I really dig how she walks around. It's like she doesn't care how she looks or what she projects and it's not that she doesn't care it's just, she's not affected I guess, and that gives her grace. And five; she does this thing in bed when she can't get to sleep, she kinda half moans and then rubs her feet together an equal numberof times... it just kills me. Believe me, I mean, I could do a top five things about her that drive me crazy but it's just your garden variety women you know, schizo stuff and that's the kind of thing that got me here. 



the first time i heard this dialog, all i could think was this is who i really want to be.. is there is one thing people have to say , this should be it,'she doesn't even take it out on people when she's having a bad day. That's character.'.. and everytime i see the movie i listen to the whole dialog again and again.. i think on some sub-consious level i'm trying to imagine myself as the person being talked about.. least god knows i badly want to be.. and i know i've failed miserably when it comes to that.. but i'm an incurable optimist about the power of self.. no matter what has happened in life i do feverishly believe that my life will what i want it to be, or least i can be who i want to be.. so i've flunked half a dozen tests before,and i'll flunk the next few as well, but does it matter if you do pass one day?


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


This is something I had written to a friend quite some time back. Read it today and felt like sharing it! :-D

Every Girl has her Yellow Boots...

Saw Anurag Kashyap's That Girl in Yellow Boots.[Spoiler Alert]

 It's a very hard movie to pin down. For one, I'm still undecided whether I like it or not and for someone who has an opinion on everything under the sun, it's a mighty odd feeling. It's disturbing for sure, and not a movie I would recommend for everyone. Kalki is her usual brilliant self as the lost girl and so are the rest of the cast. It's hard to believe that it's Prasant Prakash's first movie and Gulshan Devaiya [ one who plays the kanadiga mobster] was priceless!! The only problem with the movie is the ending. It's too disturbing and a wee bit far fetched that the the father she lost was also her stalker. I mean how did he find her?! How did he/could her have known that she was coming to India to look for him? I hate movies with loose threads (unless it's left deliberately for the audience to solve!)

For me, it was less about a girl looking for her father, and more about a girl looking to be taken care of. For me it's the scene with her outburst which sums up the movie; and the secret forlorn wish of every woman out there. The build up to the outburst is just about perfect. Her voice is sweet and calm while asking her boyfriend with his self imposed chaining if he want anything to eat. Even when she has to clean up after him she appears composed, in spite of the taunts. It's his assumption that he knows her and what she's all about that ticks her off.

The script for that scene is brilliant according to me. It's something I've heard from every other girl I've known, the jist of it. It doesn't matter from where she is, but as a girl she's been asked to bend, compromise, give, give up herself for making life easier for people around her. And she does too. All the while dreaming of that one person with whom she'd be nothing but herself. To have someone who gives as freely as she does. Someone who will take care of her without asking something in return. To love and be loved unconditionally.

But we are flawed creatures. We, while having the capacity for unconditional love, are conditioned not to give anything without a price. And while not in such dramatic force as Ruth's revelation, it hits us all the same way, the disappointment- that unconditional love is myth; fairy tales told to make life easier because we all need that little bird Hope singing to get through!

I still don't know if I like the movie or not. The ending is still very hard to accept. But I think it gives a brief glimpse, a rare insight into what women are.

Musing on "The house of Blue Mangoes"

Started David Davidar's first novel.

This is not a review. More like my thought processes while going though the book. [This is my Spoiler Alert!]

Parts of it reminds me of Marquez's'100 years of solitude'. This one is more grounded than Marquez's fable, but the moment with the kingfisher took my breathe away.

The beginning shook me a little because I assumed [very wrongly] the pace would be more like 'The house for Mr. Biswas'. Judging a book by the title I guess is equally misleading.

And I was not prepared for vividness of the history when he talks about 'as European historians later put more modestly, the breast cloth wars'.  What struck me the most was how his women react. Set in roughly in the beginning of the 20th century, their reactions are uncannily like how women in the new modern Shining Indian still react.

But once I set myself to be a tad bit more objective reader and a bit less of an empathetic reader, it was delightful. With every page I turn I'm finding it more compelling. Esp. when he speaks though Padre [ as the English priest is called] and Charity.

Like the priest I know the mechanics of our culture, the caste system - but the emotional logic escapes me; in spite of having found my peace(?) with it, rather having lived all my life within the society which still clings on to it, it remains an alien concept to me.

As for Charity, it's funny that a 21st century, educated, employed, independent woman finds an echo in the thoughts and fears, especially the fears, of small town, uneducated house wife from the last century. How much of the world has really changed for women if I find myself facing the same fears? Sometimes I wonder if all the talk about women empowerment is merely another illusion of control we think we have over our lives?

---------------------
[edit on 13/9/11]

I'm not entirely sure why I'm surprised that the book should have a chapter entirely dedicated, rather obsessed with mangoes, given that the book itself is called House of Blue MANGOES!!?
I should have read it in summer. Now it's torturous to read about it and not be sinking in your teeth into lump of gold and sunshine! :-|

Chivalry... Why art thou dead?!

The other day me and my muse got into bit of tiff. She wanted me to have a go at the story with a chivalrous man as the central character; set in the present day!! I told her that even fantasy fiction has it's limits. 'Face it dear.. Chivalry is DEAD!'. She huffed and puffed but there are somethings about our times which you just cant change.

Just to make sure, I went and asked the girls to name a few chivalrous men they knew. Sure enough, they came up with a few name: Mr. Darcy; Sir Lancelot; Walter Raleigh. So I rephrased my question to name a few chivalrous men they knew for real, in the present age and time. They smirked and giggled like I just asked for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! :-|

And just to reconfirm, I went to the All-Knowing-One, ie Google. The results*: 99.9% of all pictures turned out to be either cartoons/paintings/black and white photos :-/

No, I needed no more proof.

But I could not help wondering what exactly led to it's demise. Then out of the corner of my mind, the corner which stores random information about random people, I could remember people being chivalrous to one girl in particular. In fact a lot of guys used to fall over each other to try and help her. I know what you are thinking..She was cute, but not that cute. So I probed into the why. Why her? What is it about her that sent men all the way back to the Authurian Age?

Hmmm. She's just like any other girl when there are just girls around. But put anything remotely resembling a male in her vicinity and then suddenly she turns into new born Bambi!! Pupils widen; a certain languidness about her which makes her look like she's gonna fall any second; movements become clumsier and the clumsiness results in pouty lips or giggles and down cast eyes [ I have not been able to find the logic which dictates when pouty lips and when giggles are appropriate] ; and of course, for the life of her she cant do anything without the help of a 'strong, masculine hand' . The overly sweet,simpering temperament!!


Wait a second. Did I just describe the classic 'damsel in distress'? 0_o

Is that why knights are long dead and gone? Because damsels in distress are far and few in the post feminist world?? Do they feel out of place if they don't have someone to rescue?? Am I to understand that the independent women don't need chilvary? Did.. [hushed tones]..Did women kill chivalry?


Well, I guess common sense dictates that, 'of course independent women don't need chivalry!' Does that mean  they are averse to it? I doubt that. After which girl doesn't dream of being treated like a lady.
But does that mean she can't have it in her terms?

Hmm.. what exactly are her terms? I think this is where it goes awry. Standard ones are opening doors, pulling out the chair, offering to pay the bill, offering to carry something heavy when she's tired. But there's always this sect of women who snub the guy by saying 'Do I look incapable?'#glare#
I think for the sheer confusion which is created by what is chivalrous and what is questioning her ability to fend for her self, made men decide it's not worth it. They are simple creatures who are feel their very existence is threatened by confusion. After all, they are MEN. They grunt and decide. No namby pamby wondering which way to go.
And maybe that is why it is only for the absolute 'Bambi' type females, who are unlikely to spurn them thus that they venture forth to try.

Sigh.

It's a sad state of affairs. But maybe there'd be enough men out there who are not looking to validate their manliness and just be polite for politeness sake and help out the girls; whether she asks or not. Coz the secret is irrespective of what she says and does, she's thrilled in her heart's core when you do those little things!