The secret hand book of Moms

Have you ever had a discussion with your friends where you are talking about the impossibilities your mom used to threaten you with as a child and have the entire gang go,’ I KNOW!!!!’? Or gone to a friend’s place and found that her mom nags her exactly the way your grandmom does, though her mom is saying it in hindi while your gran used to harangue you in Malayalam? I always used to wonder how is that moms’ across the country have the same idea. I kinda dismissed it as a common cultural thing ( though to be very honest there is little else similarity between my gran and Parvinder Aunty).

But as the world started to get smaller and my views broader (thanks to cable tv and books.. later internet), I could not help noticing that putting aside language, moms’ across the world nag/threaten/cajole/pet saying pretty much the same thing. Growing up( in my household), the ultimate prophesy of doom was that you’d end up a sweeper if you don’t study. And as a child I never really understood why it was so bad because it seemed a blithe enough an existence to do nothing but sweep. I thought you’d be getting off easy rather than studying another 4-5 years to be an engineer or doctor.

Years later, after 4 years of engineering, part of a new batch of trainees for an I.T company I found myself surrounded by people from all 4 geographies of India. That was one of the best times of my life, to be part of that training, especially the batch I was put in. For a whole lot of girls that was the first time they were away from home, but no one was home sick. Boys and girls would sit late into the night playing off key anthaskari, ‘truth or dare’ at 4 in the morning on unsuspecting and extremely sleepy people leading to hilarious consequences. And of course, marathon conversations which covered everything under the sun, including moms. And it was there that I found replace ‘sweeper’ with ‘chaprasi’ or ‘cooking lady’ in another language and you have more or less got someone else, or rather everyone’s mom! :-/

And reading Amy Tan’s books, you really wonder if she actually talking about Chinese moms or Indian moms coz you really can’t see the difference.

It can’t be sheer coincidence, right? Moms across the world? Only one thing sounded plausible to me. Like the bible, there’s yet another book which has practically been translated into every language known : the secret handbook of moms. I believe as soon as  someone is known to be a mom, some guardian of the code comes and gives her a book under oath that it not to be shared with anyone who is not a mother. It’s a mass conspiracy I tell you. Mothers around the world, united in their cause to shape up someone worth leaving behind. Not that it’s not a worthy cause, but does the ends justify the means? Was so convinced, that I did a mini raid in my house for the book because if any mom is likely to forget where it is and misplace it( or think that she did), it’s my mom!! But the fact that I could not find din’t detract me, in fact it only convinced me the deviousness and ruthlessness with which the organisation works. It fact I think that there is only one copy of the book in every language and that the new mom has to memorise the whole thing before passing it on. You can ask me how is that possible in the day and age of population explosion, but I ask you, is it really that difficult in the day and age of internet??

But to be honest I don’t think it’s a online copy. I think it’s hard copy, a physical thing infused with the power of moms over the ages. It’s probably more like an infectious magical entity. I’m not entirely sure how to imagine an object encapsulating all the wisdom of all the moms. It has to be awe inspiring to the point of being just a wee little frightening while still remaining a thing of great beauty. Kinda like Aslan the lion from Narnia.Something which would disintegrate if touched by anyone who doesn't hold the awesome kind of love and heart that only a mother would have. ( Try breaking that code, Hackers!!)

But then again, with kids like me, I think they would need all the help in the world :-) And only the collective wisdom would rein in and reign over my kind!End of the day, we love our moms ( in fact, if I go home and they don't nag I feel out of place!)

and hope we are half as good as the ones we've had and there's actually a hand book to help us out!

What do you think?!