Women on Women - Literary style!

Inadvertently May because the month for Woman Power. No, not girl power. It was all about Women. Girls are sweet. Women are powerful. Women have a strength which belie their sweetness. Not all girls become women and some girls take a long time to reach womanhood. All the books I read last month had a woman at the heart of it's book. And with the exception of two (out of the eleven), all the rest were written by women too. And it was a revelation.

When men write about women (or girls) they tend to give them an aura. It can be of the saint or of the whore, or maybe even somewhere in between ( the whore with the heart of gold?!). Rarely are they goofy, the women of the male imagination ( MPDG don't count!). And even rarer are the cases where the goofiness is a part of the strength. It's not that all the women I read about were goofy. But I'm just pointing out an instance of how male and female writers tend to portray female characters. The more female writers I read, I felt there was some subliminal difference. But one I could not place a finger on immediately. Had I read female and male authors indiscriminately as I'm wont to do, I'm sure I would not have even noticed the difference. I would have merely notched it to the particular style or voice of the author.

But skipping from one women to another, author wise, I caught a subtle shift of perception. The women are plainer. Even the attractive ones. They are not built to make your heart ache with want. Not on sight that is. And even more importantly love is not a function that's dependent on their external beauty. Or even on their likability. These women, created by other women, are irritable, have abundant sense of humor even if it is a bit sardonic, unwillingly kind or even willingly unkind. Yet, they still find love and fulfillment. And the love that they find is not dependent on them being likable all the time. Nor is love and fulfillment directly proportional. This is certainly not a revelation in the real world.

Then why does it feel so exceptional in the literary one?

They, the female characters, are also sweet, considerate, jealous, motherly, sexy or what ever feminine virtue (or vice) you want to confer on them. The difference, I guess, is that these women are not an embodiment of a single emotion or virtue ( or vice). They get tired and have exceptionally bad hair days and be exceptionally cranky because of the said day or be exceptionally happy and not give a flying f**k for the said day. But the range of emotion that they display, these women written by other women. doesn't make them seem hysterical. Instead it is a mere expression of their feelings at that point of time in the story.

I don't know if I'm making sense. It's not like all the women written by men are hysterical or ideal. I'm not saying that men can't or haven't written about women realistically. But looking back, I feel a majority of the women written by men have, for the lack of a better word, an aura. A particular virtue or vice is subtly enhanced or embodied by the female characters. Male characters can get angry but they are not defined by it (unless we are talking about the Hulk). They also be sad, happy, jealous, manipulative. yet they don't always carry an aura. It is not the norm. The hero or more often the master or guide will have an aura but not every male in the story has one.

And to be clear, I'm definitely not saying female authors are better than their male counterparts. The abundance of shitty writers are more or less equal in their distribution among genders. What I am saying is that it is refreshing to see female characters who are not boxed and colored with a brush of a singular virtue.

The cynical sister says... :)

I'm a very cynical person.

I saw 'The Help'.

Ohwait... I forgot the connect. No, this is not about how I dint like the movie. In stead it is about why I liked the movie, in spite of it being a slightly Disney-fied version ( btw, is this a very Indian thing to do, or does everyone do this... making a new word by '-fying' it ?!) of the black emancipation. To explain why, I need to give a little bit background about myself.

Like I said already, I'm a very cynical person. Not the kind of schizo person who thinks everyone is bad and out to get you. Nope, I'm a more difficult to argue with sort of cynic- the kind that believes that people really want to be good, but ultimately they'll do only what is convenient for them. Period. There are obviously exceptions but at large it's a pretty good rule to hold 99.999% of the population. This might not make me a very nice person, but it sure allows me to be more tolerant and have lower expectations of people in general and that makes me a nicer person than I might have been.

Is anything Impossibile for these brats?!
Courtesy: goldenagemag.com

But there are two situations where this cynicism doesn't apply. 

One, with children. These fresh souls run largely on instinct and the sheer amount of energy, imagination and curiosity they have leaves little which appears to be inconvenient. Rather the thought process doesn't process convenience or inconvenience, just the way they don't always process good and bad. Which means these little angels and monsters almost always do things directly from the heart till they are told otherwise. And it's downright criminal to be cynical in the face of such brutal, life affirming openness and honesty. Every time I talk to a child, I'm renewed with hope that humanity is not entirely a lost cause.

The other, is when I see a sisterhood. It's a rare thing. And it's hard to explain the magic around one. It's not like an all accepting bond like a brotherhood. Nope, we fight, we bitch about each other, we even refuse to stand by each other occasionally. But we never cut each other away. Not even when someone wants to. In spite of all the dissension, there's a collective wisdom that holds the women together.

Viola Davis, Jessica Chastain, Octavia Spencer, Emma Stone and Bryce Dallas Howard : The Help cast

Part of the magic might be in the fact that a lot of times, the bond is formed without having a lot of common characteristics. There's no ulterior motive. This is pretty much the only other space, especially in adulthood, that I've seen where people think less of how it might be convenient or not and more about what the other person needs! And there's pretty much only one rule or code - Loyalty. But it's not your conventional definition ( we are women, ergo there can be nothing conventional about the way things are done.. esp the way men have defined it! :-P) but I wont even try to define it. One, because it's complicated even as a woman to understand it. Two, hehe.. Why give away the secret to men?! :D

Another curious thing is the fact almost always, the sisterhood is made of people who are not even remotely related. And I felt 'The Help' was a beautiful example of that kind of sisterhood.

[Spoiler Alert!!] One of my most favorite scenes in the movie is when Hilly Holbrooke tells Skeeter that she should not cut herself short just because her mama(Skeeter's) thinks she's not good enough to meet nice guys. For the most parts, Hilly's a self serving, arrogant woman who insists that she can never be wrong.  But you always bring out the best when you are rooting for a fellow sister! :)

Another favorite scene is the when Celia Foote cooks an entire dinner all by herself for Minny which gives Minny the strength to finally confront her abusive husband. There's pretty much nothing which can stop you when you have your sisters backing you.

Another scene which hit a chord is when Constantine talks to Skeeter under the tree; along similar lines,when Aibileen tells Elizabeth's kid in the morning to repeat after her,"I is kind, I is smart..." They are the Yin to your Yang, your sisters and that's what keeps you in balance.

Touchwood, because I've always been blessed with that rare kind of sisterhood all my life so far. I've always had women, some whom I am still in touch with, some I'm not ( and the blame's almost always mine!), who argued with me, comforted me, scolded me, complimented me and no matter what reminded me how lucky I am to be me! And that's why I like 'The Help'. Because it made a very cynical person sit up and reminded her that there are somethings in life which are unabashedly beautiful and one ought to be grateful for it! :)

MUUUAHH!! to all my sisters, past, present and future! :D